Sometimes We All Need Change

It's been a few years since I began my blogging journey, and quite frankly, I've been sorely lacking. I've had several people express their interest in following me and the quirkiness that is my life if I were to (finally!) keep up with a blog, so here we go. 

I've learned a lot over this journey, but most of all I've learned that eventually we all need change. Looking over my previous work, I KNOW I can do better! I'll always have a special place in my heart for what Domestic Mommies was, but the woman that started that blog is not the same woman writing this now; and I feel that my online presence should reflect that. Southern Sass and Sweet Tea gives me the space I need to grow and change. Bear with me as we take this journey together. I'm learning; and that's something I'll never stop doing.

I'll be leaving this blog up for posterity sake, but all new posts will be found at Southern Sass and Sweet Tea. Please check it out, it's going to be one heck of an adventure. 

Thank you, for everything...

Jess 

Far Too Long

Oh wow...I didn't realize that it had been so long since I had posted on here! I'm still here, just had a lot of life changes in a short amount of time. My husband took a new job, so that's been pretty hard to get used to, especially since he had been at the last one for a little over 10 years. He still doesn't have a set in stone schedule, so cooking and crafting on a regular basis have been put to the wayside as of late. I'm sincerely hoping that I can get back on a regular schedule as soon as the youngest starts school. Fingers crossed that should be in September.

I do have a sizeable kitchen make-over project planned within the next couple of months (and doing it on a budget) so I hope to have tons of pictures and ideas to toss onto the internet soon.

My last piece of news, and the one that I really didn't want to have to post, but it has had such an effect on my family's lives, is a sad one. My grandmother was diagnosed with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer. It is uncureable. She is being treated and will be for the rest of her life. They gave her 2 years. We are spending as much time as possible with her and making every day she has left count, whether it be the 2 years they gave her, or another 10 or more. I don't know what else to say about it. It hurts to even think about.

I just wanted everyone to know that I am still here and still have things to post and do, just give me time.

Much Love!

On Being Thankful...for my best friends

Friends are our chosen family. Yes, I joke and kid about not having any, but when it comes down to it, I am very, very blessed in the friend department. I have friends from all walks of life. You name a character trait and I can pick some one with it. I have friends that can make me laugh, make me cry, make me scratch my head and ask, "wtf are you doing?" (and sometimes all within 5 minutes). And for all of them, I am eternally grateful. Life just wouldn't be as awesome as it is without all of you!

But sometimes, just sometimes, you find those friends that go the distance. Those friends that are something more. Those that become such an integral part of your life that the bond with them will withstand anything, and that you know would follow you to the end of the earth and back without a second thought. And once they've walked into your life, you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you'll never be able to let them walk back out of it.

I am very blessed to have not one, but two friends like that. Don and Heather are the most wonderful, most kind-hearted, most amazing people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting outside of TD and the kids. I know I could trust them with my life, my family, my everything, and they would rise to the challenge. And I know I don't let them know it nearly often enough.

I met Don through a church function. Though he is old enough to be my father, we hit it off well and held a lot of similar beliefs. This, of course, led to conversations of a spiritual nature, that eventually made way into conversations about anything and everything under the sun. And there was no greater honor than when he approached me and asked me to help him get a church underway. I jumped headfirst into new territory, took a leap of faith, and came out on the other side all the better for it. While I view him as a mentor, I also view him as a brother, a friend, and a voice of wisdom and reason. And while we've had our share of disagreements, we've never let it come between us. I may pick on and sass him just as much as I do TD, but I hope that he knows how much I care and how much I value his presence in my life.

Heather I met through a Facebook gaming page. She had mentioned the town that she lived in and lo and behold if it wasn't the same teeny-tiny town that I live in as well. Call it fate, destiny, whatever, but I sent her a friend request and went from there. Even though she bounced around a bit before I finally got to meet her, when I did, it was like everything in the world clicked into place. She has become my very best friend, in every sense of the word. There is absolutely nothing we don't share with each other and no such thing as TMI between us. I never, ever thought I'd find a friend that I could consider a sister, but she's there. She has a piece of my soul forever.

I know I don't tell you guys near often enough how thankful I am to have you in my life, so hopefully writing this blog lets you know. I don't know what I would do without either of you.

Thank you. For everything.

On Being Thankful...for my Spouse

Yes, yes, I know. Thanksgiving was last week, and I'm sure you've seen plenty of blogs outlining thankfulness. I'm a little late to the party, Then again, every day is a day to be thankful.

Yesterday, something hit me (while folding TD's underwear of all times). I don't show how thankful I am nearly often enough. And while I am thankful for many, many things (an am planning on doing a series of these posts in the coming weeks), today I'm talking solely about the one person that I am thankful for above all others.

So anyway, while folding hubby's underwear, I realized that far too often that I forget to tell him just how thankful I am for him. It's not that I'm an ungrateful bitch, just that I'm so ridiculously busy with the kids, their activities, my activities, TD's activities, and running this house that it just slips my mind.

But no more. 

From now on, I want to make an effort to show and tell not only TD, but everyone in my life that I am thankful for them and all that they do for me.

TD, bless him, drew my attention to the fact that my driver's side front tire is pretty much shot. As in the wires are exposed and I'm now, quite honestly, terrified to drive on it. He took it upon himself to call and order my tires, drop off Maggie (that would be my car), get her inspected, and change my oil, all within 2 days of finding that my tire was bad. He didn't leave that to me, didn't leave me lost in trying to figure out just what to do.

He is the best damn husband and father I could have ever imagined, and more. Though he's not always here, he's always taking care of us. That man works harder than anyone I've ever seen in my life. And no matter how down and out we are, he always finds a way to pull through. He's always present for the major events in the kids lives and makes an effort to spend one-on-one time with them daily. While he may not be the most gentle, romantic or affection man on the planet, I've never once doubted how much he loves me. He just has his own unique way of showing it.

He even helps around the house, even if I've told him to sit down and chill. Of course, yes, I do the majority of stuff around here. That's my job being a SAHM, and I love every minute of it, but without him standing beside me and supporting me, I'd never get it all done. He understands that my work isn't easy and that I don't get a break, and he does attempt to make it simpler on me, even if it is in small ways. He always tells me in advance that he's got something going on so that I can schedule it. He calls if he's going to be late getting home so that I know to put off supper for an hour or so. He reminds me to grab my purse or my glasses, or diaper wipes.

So yeah, while I might pick on him about not putting his dirty clothes in the basket and have an unconventional way of showing love (ie, affectionately calling him assface or popping him on the butt with the corner of my wet dishcloth), I hope that he knows and understands that for everything he does, big or small, I am eternally grateful and that I love him with every beat of my heart.

Product Review: Borden Good2gether Snacks

So a few weeks ago I joined on with Bzzagent (I'll talk more about them in a future post), but in short, I receive products for free in exchange for unbiased reviews.

My first Campaign was for Borden Good2Gether snacks. These nifty little refrigerated packages are available for less than $2.00 at your local Walmart, stocked with the other cheese snack products in the dairy case. They are individual serving sizes of cheese cubes and pretzels, available in both Colby Jack and Mild Cheddar. I used my coupon for the mild cheddar flavor. The cheese was the high quality that I expected from Borden, and had a smooth cheddar flavor with no hint of sharpness. It was very smooth and enjoyed all around by my family. Truthfully, I was a little iffy about the pretzels, seeing as they were refrigerated, but they were crisp and crunchy and had just the perfect amount of salt.  

The package was easily opened by my 6 year old, making it perfect for in the car, or a lunchbox treat. I feel so good being able to give my kids a snack that isn't chock full of sugar and junk, and that they actually enjoy. These will definitely be bought again! 

Final Rating: 5/5. 

Needing to Get Back on Track

Holy cow has my life been a jumble of chaos recently! I need self discipline. I think this blog may be a good way to do that. I really need to carve out time to write here. Its my release. My own little corner of the web that's just mine.

I deal with all things mommy. The downside to that is that there just aren't enough hours in the day. Maybe I can start getting up a little earlier on Fridays. Even 30 minutes with my phone or laptop is enough to get what's in my mind on the page.

Here's to hoping...nay, DOING. Wish me luck.

Mommy Wars...Enough Already!!!

Breast or bottle? Cloth or disposable? Organic or conventional? These are just some of the many questions we as Moms ask ourselves. Raising a child is hard work and we all strive to be the best parents we can be. This brings me to a topic that I've noticed over the years with disturbing frequency, both online and in everyday life. 

Mommy Wars. Even if you aren't familiar with the term, you've probably fell victim to, or witnessed the malice of one of these battles. Simply put, a Mommy War involves one or more moms bitterly putting down the parenting choices of another. I think some arguments (but certainly not all) start off as a mom honestly trying to share the knowledge of her choices and what works for her. The problem arises when she pushes just a little too far. Hell hath no fury like a mommy whose parenting ability is called into question. This particular form of battle can be easily resolved. Then you have the OTHER type of battle. A mom with a holier-than-thou attitude who thinks that her choices are the only way and everyone else is wrong, wrong, WRONG! 

Its the latter of these two arguments that I see the most often, and that worries me. If you want to witness one of these brutal bloodbaths, just take a look over the myriad of "Mommy" Facebook pages or groups or online parenting forums. For example, I was witness to a particularly nasty war on a Facebook page that I follow a few weeks ago. The discussion was on how long to rear-face a child in the car. Most are aware that the AAP now recommends rear facing until two years of age. A mom had innocently stated that her son was a couple of months away from his second birthday and had outgrown his rear-facing seat. She had wanted to know if the other moms thought it would be okay to either go ahead and let him front face, or to keep him in the seat until he was two. Plenty of moms gave their polite opinions. Then came the war. One "Meanie Mommy" (what I like to call the instigators of these arguments) decided to interject and tell her that her ONLY option was to buy an ERF (extended rear-facing) carseat. (Now, I don't know if you've priced ERF's lately, but they generally run anywhere from $100-$400. Despite the cost, some backseats are not capable of fitting one of these monstrous seats. We know from experience.) Well, as many of us moms would say, the original poster commented that she could not afford the ERF. It happens. Meanie Mommy replied that anyone that ever even left their driveway with a child under 4 years old forward-facing was putting that child at risk of death, and that if parents could not afford to buy an ERF seat, then they couldn't afford to have children or raise a child. 

Of course, Meanie Mommy has a right to her opinion, we all do. Regardless of whether she is right or wrong, that is her opinion and how she raises her child, but when that opinion blatantly attacks and insults another mother's parenting abilities, then there is a problem. And its not just carseats. Feeding, working, staying at home, labor methods, all are subject to the Mommy War wrath. 

All of us mommies are just trying to do the absolute best that we can. Yet we all see other moms out and about whose children seem smarter or more well-behaved, more socialized, more anything than our own and suddenly we have to push that nagging voice of doubt back down. We've probably all had the same thought at one point or another, whether we're a first-time mom or or a 6 time veteran; "What is she doing so right that I am doing so wrong?" 

STOP IT!!!!!  

You aren't doing a damn thing wrong! You are doing what is best for your family in your specific set of circumstances, as is every other mom you see. We all have our own parenting challenges that we are facing, and just like our parenting styles they are all unique. 

So whether you vaccinate or not, circumcise or not, baby wear or not, or any other of the insane amount of choices you or another mommy make, embrace those differences. There is absolutely no need whatsoever to fight about it, online or in person. 

To the "Meanie Mommies" of the world: Please realize that you are not the only mother on Earth. There were billions before you and there will be billions after you. You are no better than anyone, nor are you any worse. You are a mom, just like the rest of us. Please learn to celebrate the beauty of our differences instead of using them to make others feel inferior. 

To the insecure Mamas out there that have ever had to question your skills: stop doubting yourselves! You're a mommy; you've made a beautiful miracle. You've earned your stripes. There isn't a soul on Earth that has the right to tell you otherwise or make you feel like any less of a mother! Keep your head held high. Let every smile, giggle, hug, kiss and "I love you" from your child(ren) be your reassurance that you are being the best mama you can be!